Crawling and Other Life Goals

Caleb has been working on crawling for a few weeks now. He started by simply lifting his head while lying on his stomach. Then he began to let his hands and feet touch the floor (previously he teetered on his belly button with his back arched). Soon after, his legs began to pull up underneath him. Then, one day, as if out of nowhere, he pushed up on his hands and his stomach lifted off the ground. And THEN the process really began to take shape. He would push up on all fours and instantly flop to the ground. Day by day he stayed up longer. We began putting objects just out of reach and letting him struggle for them. When he finally made his way to the toy - in no short amount of time - we celebrated with him. Slowly but surely he has begun moving around, not yet crawling - UNTIL TODAY! Today he made his first BIG move...legs curled under, arms pushing up, then on all fours, he rocked front to back. Then, in a sudden move his legs thrust forward one after another, and he tumbled to the floor. I quickly scooped him up - not to save him from his fall but to celebrate his success. I tossed him in the air, and his smile lit up the room.

This is both the joy and challenge of parenting: to know what your child needs to learn, help them get there, and celebrate appropriately. And it doesn't stop after childhood. Angie and I know that Caleb needs to crawl. My mum often informs me that research shows crawling improves reading skills. Whether that's true or not, he needs to crawl. Crawling involves risk. He will fall in the learning process. It will be harder on us once he can move around. We will have to watch what he gets into, childproof our home, and chase him around. But the reward is MUCH greater than the risk. And the process is as much for us, his parents, as it is for him. Walking carries even greater risk. Caleb needs to crawl first so that the leap in perceived risk is reduced and we can cope more easily.

Keeping all of this in mind, we must know our son in order to help him learn to crawl. He is a curious boy. He LOVES bottles - not his baby bottles, Coke bottles, juice bottles, water bottles, etc. So we put a combination of toys and bottles just out of reach so that he can practice getting to them. Every now and then, when his frustration heightens we reward him for his efforts and give him one of the toys (or bottles). It's not a constant effort on our part (a few short times a day), but a continual, intentional one. Over time he makes new strides in the process to crawling and we celebrate. Once again, we have to know our child to celebrate appropriately. Caleb loves being tossed in the air. Not every child does.

This process will continue for us until Caleb has reached healthy autonomy. It is the same process over and over, and even overlapping, but the goals get more complex and more difficult to identify. Therefore, we, as parents, must become MORE intentional and aware, not less. We must take the time to identify where we want our children to be, evaluate their current position, and consider how to help them get there - always keeping in mind who he is, not who I am. Then we must actually do it.

LOVED - CARED FOR - KNOWN